Relationship and Couples Counselling

Couples Counselling

Do you remember when you first fell in love with your partner? You freely gave each other your time and attention and could barely get enough of each other.  You likely invested a lot of energy into building the relationship, thinking of and doing things that would bring a smile to your partner’s face. Now fast forward to your relationship as it is now.  Do you notice that some interactions with your partner seem to escalate and become intense quickly, causing you to say and do things that perhaps you later regret? This is because our most intense fears, fears of rejection, abandonment, or inadequacy are triggered with people who matter to us. Depending on the response we receive when making a bid to connect with our partner, we either experience emotional connection and belonging, or separation and disconnection. All relationships experience difficulties, especially as life gets busy and stressful, with parenting, difficulty at work, mortgage payments, and household chores. All of these can get in the way of displaying love and admiration for one another. 

Are you experiencing:

  • Arguments between yourself and your partner that go on and on without getting resolved?
  • Withdrawal or defensiveness from your partner when you want to talk about important issues?
  • Feelings of loneliness or feeling misunderstood
  • A lack of closeness and intimacy in your relationship

Without the language to express our need for connection and safety, distance and resentment can occur between you and your partner.  However, the underlying theme of all your arguments, are likely protests about feeling disconnected, distant, unimportant, unloved, or misunderstood. What the arguing hides, is the need to feel loved, heard, important, and accepted. When we do not know how to ask our partner for support, we find ways to distract ourselves to try to manage stress, but when we do this we are turning away from our partner, leading her or him to feeling alone, abandoned, and frustrated. This is often expressed through criticism, blaming, and anger. The more times this pattern occurs, the less safe the relationship feels and the rift between one another widens. We may start to feel that we cannot depend on our partner for comfort and this may lead to the feeling that we are all alone in the world.

How can Couples Counselling Help?

  • Learn ways to build trust
  • Develop clear and effective communication strategies
  • Learn to diffuse conflict
  • Increase sexual and emotional intimacy 
  • Develop closer emotional connections with your partner
  • Express your needs and desire with one another in a safe and respectful way

Couples counselling offers you an opportunity to talk about difficult issues in a safe and confidential environment, where you will have a chance to be heard and share your perspective. The focus is on helping couples learn ways to express their needs and desires with one another in a safe and respectful way and to help you to develop closer emotional connections with your partner, as well as improve how you feel about yourself. Consider scheduling a free meet and greet to find out how couples counselling can help you or your relationship?